I think one of the first things that goes through your mind, once the reality of being expectant again hits you, is the (additional) work that lies ahead of you. Don’t get me wrong; it’s exciting expecting an addition to the family, but it also means work. If you have gone past the night time feeds and diaper changes, it means preparing to return to that. I suppose what I wasn’t quite prepared for is that it’s another challenge, altogether, when your expecting while keeping up with your energetic preschooler.
At three, Kamau is a bundle of energy around the house! He wants to wear shoes that will enable him run, “faster! faster!” He wants to try out everything- from frying eggs with mommy to playing Emergency Services where we are supposed to play patient and ambulance driver-cum-medic in turns. He wants to show me that he can somersault and wants us to bounce on his bed for, “only five minutes” just before we read our bedtime story. I love getting home to our little bundle of energy but more and more, and the rounder I get, it’s becoming difficult to keep up with him.
I am up by 5.40 am every morning. I use “by” because my alarm goes off at 5.15 but getting out of bed is a real struggle. I snooze my alarm and promise myself that I will comb my hair faster and forego eyeliner, just to justify the extra five minutes of sleep. I sit in traffic for about two hours on my way to the office and for another hour and a half when I leave the office at 6 pm. By the time I get home, I just want to sit in front of the TV and fall asleep. Instead, an excited Kamau welcomes me home and I can see him waving from the Family room window as I park my car and I feel my heart well up with love and excitement and I cannot wait to hug him and hear about his day 🙂 Lately, the games are between him and R and I will sit in the room (if I can stand to watch them play- they get a bit rough sometimes) and participate by smiling or cheering them on. We will then go through how his day was with a little help from the comments in his school diary. At 8 pm, we say goodnight to baba and we have what has become our new bonding activity- story time. It is the only time he will sit still, ask me if the baby is awake and even attempt to get her to move around, and I get my opportunity to sneak a kiss.
Yes (in a Mary Alice Young– Desperate Housewives– voice). It is not easy to keep up with my preschooler as I navigate around with my burgeoning belly, but you know what I tell myself each day? Being pregnant doesn’t make me any less Kamau’s mother. While I may want to be very careful so he doesn’t accidentally hit my belly, and while I may not be able to do some of the things we would do before, spending time with him and showing him that I am very interested in those little things that excite him is still my job. I look at it as learning how to juggle two babies. Kamau will need just as much attention when baby comes as he doesn’t stop being my baby when his sister is born. I also look at it as showing him he is just as important as she is as opposed to him thinking that mommy only cares about her “new” baby. I talk to him about it a lot because sometimes he will refer to her as my baby and I keep telling him she is OUR baby so he learns to understand she is as much his as she is mine and his daddy’s.
I don’t have a “How-To” manual on how to go through pregnancy while raising a toddler or preschooler, and in some cases even more than one, but I think the most important thing is to remember to enjoy both experiences. Our Kamau will never be three again so I need to enjoy this stage he is at now as I enjoy growing our little girl in my womb. Here’s to all you mommas raising little ones as you go through pregnancy.
xoxo!
Raising Kamau! 