MY (GROWING) LIST OF ESSENTIALS.

I have come up with a little list of things I believe will help me get through the final leg of my journey. I imagine I may modify this list- adding onto it- as we get closer to my due date, but so far so good. Top on my list is a packet of milk which, at this point, I am beginning to think means I need a cooler box and perhaps a person to follow me around with said box in tow. O, the heartburn! It hits me when I least expect it and will not be ignored. All those things I have read about trying to stay away from particular foods that may trigger it or eating slowly… that stuff doesn’t work for me. Milk, on the other hand, works like that (snapping my fingers)!

I am (slowly) transitioning away from my kitten heels as I have began to accept that flat shoes are all I need. I got myself two pairs when I could no longer wear my regular heels yet felt really frumpy in flats. Lately, though, even my kitten heels feel like too much on one of those days. I am that girl that wants to feel pretty at all times. Even when my belly walks into a room a few seconds ahead of the rest of me or when I feel like putting on eye liner is just too much work, I still want to make sure I did the best to look my best. When you’re pregnant (for me anyway), you go through days (lots of them) when you don’t feel pretty and I felt like my heels were the one thing that helped my outfit look good so I have held on to them for as long as I could. I feel it’s coming to that time when I just have to put them a bit farther away on my shoe rack and embrace comfort. Speaking of comfort; Kwaheri, form fitting office dresses and hello, easy flowing maxis. I need room to breathe and I have given up on the structured dresses I had gotten a couple of months ago and I am now investing in stretchy maxis made from light, comfortable material. Those structured dresses were cute when my bump was cute, but now it’s all about being able to sit without worrying about a zip breaking or a button popping out!

My Vitabiotics Pregnacare Stretch Cream has been one of the best investments I have made. I like it as it’s in an easy-to-carry tube packaging so I can throw it in my toilet bag and carry it everywhere with me. I was extra paranoid about stretch marks this time as with my first pregnancy I didn’t take the best care of my stretching skin. It has taken months and months of Bio-Oil to help me feel a little more confident about my tummy area and the last thing I want is to have fresh stretchmarks. I went all out at the beginning of my second trimester and bought everything from Palmer’s Tummy Butter to pure Vitamin E oil which my friends Nancie and Silvia recommended as being good for getting rid of stretch marks/keeping them at bay. The Pregnacare I just happened to pick from the pharmacy counter and when I read what it does decided to get it too and I am glad I did. My belly has been so itchy lately and I will, generously, oil it during every bathroom visit just to avoid dryness. It’s also recommended for application on your bosom area. I think we forget that going up a cup size during pregnancy and lactation means that the skin in that area is also stretching and needs care. Like I said, I am one of those girls that like to feel pretty and I want to be as pretty as I can be even after my babies 🙂

My Kick-Me app, which I got as a free download, has been wonderful for keeping up with the little one’s movements since I got it at around 20 weeks. I am currently back to doing it manually as I am on forced smartphone leave (my mulika mwizi has no options for downloading apps 🙂 ) since I had an accident with my phone. I am, especially, careful about recording baby’s movements at this point seeing as it’s one of the ways they tell you can give you an idea if something is amiss. I have had a largely paranoia-fueled pregnancy and any little thing I can do to just ensure that our little miracle is well, I will do.

I am hoping to find something that will help me with insomnia which is slowly kicking in. For the last couple of nights I will either be fully awake for long periods of time- which has me opting to turn in as late as I can to avoid waking up in the night- or be barely asleep the entire night. R is super wonderful and will try to get me as comfortable as possible so I can get some rest, but I feel really guilty that he has to lose sleep so I can get some. My belly has gotten so heavy and not even the “magic” lying-on-your-left-side position helps anymore. I will toss and turn (yeah! Picture a heavily pregnant woman tossing and turning. Each movement takes about five minutes!) trying to find the perfect position. Nothing works. I think I just have to ride this one out til baby gets here. Perhaps the being awake part is also good practise for the nightly feeds when baby comes.

Speaking of heavy bellies, my friend Wanjiru gifted me with an elastic belly support belt and I have a feeling I may be adding it to my list of products I cannot live without. I swear, sometimes it feels like the baby is standing up in my uterus! This from the pressure I feel on my pelvic area when I get up and when I’m walking. Anything that relieves this pressure is definitely a plus!

What pregnancy products can’t you live without?

xoxo!

I. AM. BEAUTIFUL.

I’d love to look like Jessica Alba after I’ve had two children or put on a bikini two months after giving birth to my second child like Gisele Bundchen. What woman doesn’t want to lose over 40 pounds in under three months of giving birth like Blue Ivy‘s mom did before her performance at Revel last year? If you would point me to the direction of the planet that these women come from, I’d be happy to visit so as to achieve all of the above.

We’re not raising Kamau on this post, Blogiary (this assuming you haven’t already caught on). Today we talk about me. Why today you ask? Because I have spent all morning (here’s to hoping my boss doesn’t read this) reading article after article on what I should eat-and not eat for that matter- so that I can lose a few Kilograms. I have pored through websites reading about the perfect combination of exercises to help me achieve that elusive “ideal” body. You see Blogiary, my son turns two in three days and I can no longer milk the cow that was, “I just had my little one five months ago.”

The truth is, I’ve never been a thin girl but for some strange reason getting pregnant sort of felt like the opportunity to rewrite a story. You know, my chance to be alike a Phoenix rising from the ashes. I figured that if women could have babies and then have flat tummies months or a year later, then this was my shot! I could pretend that I was thin before (forget the fact that people that knew me would still know me. I didn’t quite factor that in.) and that I was simply struggling with baby weight. My plan was to look as good as possible within a reasonable amount of time and then brag about how I bounced back after giving birth. I suppose they call them the best laid plans for a reason.

Jackson Biko-in last week’s Saturday Magazine– wrote an article on Weighty Conversations. One of the scariest things for me is having my partner point out that I am fat or that I am getting fat because, being a woman (and as Mr. Biko pointed out) at that point you begin to doubt how attractive you appear to that person. I went through the whole self conscious phase after I gave birth and once you get past the doubt about how the “new you” is perceived, you don’t want to go back there. Perhaps the scariest thing about body image issues, in my opinion, is that because you cannot shift weight in a single day and sometimes cannot even begin to see the results for months regardless of hard work, is that looking at yourself each morning in the mirror and thinking you don’t like what you see can be very depressing.

I think body image varies from one woman to the other and, perhaps, from one relationship to the other as well. I say relationship because different people have different opinions on what their ideal partners should look like. While weight is a deal breaker for some it just isn’t for others. I also think that body image really boils down to confidence; to what makes you as a woman feel beautiful, sexy or the best version of yourself. While some feel their best at size zero others are perfectly beautiful and happy at size 14.

I’d just be happy to be rid of my very annoying muffin top. I would love to wear a pair of jeans with a belt (ladies, you know why we avoid those belts)! Heck! I’d love to throw on a cropped top on a sunny afternoon. I’d love to have zero stretchmarks on my tummy (yes, they haven’t gone away despite my attempts at Bio Oil) and, boy, would I love to someday put on a bikini and lounge by a pool in huge hater blockers and have the world stop in awe. That bikini on a Brazilian-esque bottom (I hear plastic surgeons travel to Brazil for inspiration when sculpting the best looking butts); the kind that’s supposed to be just right.

Do I think I will achieve this? I don’t know. I’ll give it my best shot for sure (proper diet, more time at the gym and crunches and squats in the house before bedtime when I don’t have time to go to the gym) but I won’t cry about it every night. I refuse to. I will work on clothes that flatter my body; working around those flaws as I work on them. Whether at size 12 today or eight tomorrow, I will feel beautiful each day and will try not to curse myself each morning as I get dressed for work.

You know what, Blogiary, I feel a bit better having talked to you 🙂

xoxo!